


Unpredictable Pathway

by boneswrites



Series: Pathway [2]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of George Kirk, Roommates, Rules, Sexual Tension, Starfleet Academy, Usual grumpy Bones and sunshine Jim situation, mentions of Joanna McCoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-20
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 09:06:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8096197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boneswrites/pseuds/boneswrites
Summary: The adventures of Leonard and Jim sharing a dorm begin, which includes ground rules and some banter. Not to mention the tension that comes with uncovering underlying feelings for your roomie.Sequel to Golden Pathway





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It's been expressed that people would be interested in a sequel to Golden Pathway and here we are! I honestly had planned it but wasn't sure if I was going to go with it but I really like this idea. Rating subject to change based on the second chapter. Wink, wink! I hope you enjoy this and feedback always makes my day!

Jim isn’t sure how Pike found out.

Jim and Leonard leave one of the big lecture halls together, having just been dismissed from yet another mandatory orientation meeting with about a dozen admirals and half the damn student body. Leonard hated meetings, other students and meetings with other students in a compacted area. That’s exactly what he’s tightly grumbling and huffing about to Jim once they’re let go.

Jim gives him the occasional ‘hmm’ while not really listening to what the doctor is blabbing because one: he already heard Leonard’s rant before about a handful of times and two: he knows he just needs to let him have his moment. He’ll eventually calm down. Once Leonard graduates, that is.

Jim’s eyes start to wander around the many faces and that’s when he catches Pike’s eyes. They stare at each other for a moment before Pike slightly raises his eyebrow, looks at Leonard and then back at Jim. Jim isn’t an open book but with Pike it seems like he is. And knowing that when Jim went to Pike about his roommate situation and the captain had given him the ‘I don’t have authority over who you share a room with and honestly Jim deal with it’ speech, and after Jim had suggested in not so many words that he can take care of it personally, Pike appears to know exactly what Jim had done.

Jim smirks back with a small shrug. He sees Pike respond with a small chuckle and a shake of his head and Jim knows Pike won’t report him. After all, he wouldn’t want his best recruitment to go to such waste. Jim watches as Pike disappears into the sea of people and turns around when Leonard calls his name.

“Jim?”

“Yeah, Bones?” Jim replies absentmindedly.

“Are you even listening to me? That was just a complete waste of time!”

Jim shrugs.

“Damn it, I’m a doctor, I’m busy. I don’t have time to sit in halls for two goddamn hours to hear the same crap over and over again,” Leonard puffs.

“They say repetition insures understanding.”

“Repetition, my ass. That was torture.”

“Come on, Bones, it wasn’t that bad,” Jim pats Leonard’s shoulder.

“It really was. I have patients to see—”

“And flu shots to give, right, I almost forgot you’re still confided to working in the clinic,” Jim teases.

“I’m serious, Jim. And I’m a grown ass man, I know how to behave. Been doing it for years before I joined this godforsaken institution,” Leonard expresses.

“I think Pike knows,” Jim stops walking and turns to face Leonard.

“Knows what?” Leonard comes to a halt next to Jim.

“What I did,” Jim bits his bottom lip.

“Goddamn it, Jim! I knew someone was going to figure it out. I guess you should start packing what little belonging you have lying around.”

“Relax, Bones, are you always so anxious and on edge? And this is how fast you want to get rid of me? I should be hurt.”

“Surprise, surprise,” Leonard glares.

“Don’t worry, he won’t say anything. He smiled when he figured it out,” Jim assures.

“I swear if they break into the room in the middle of the night to get you, I will personally hand you over to them,” Leonard warns.

“Glad I mean so much to you,” Jim chuckles. “Besides, I think he’s over the moon his best two recruitments ever are best friends.”

“Best friends?” Leonard repeats, raising an eyebrow.

“You know you like the sound of it,” Jim smiles.

“No, I don’t. I’m not even sure I like _you_ yet,” Leonard admits.

“Come on, let’s get a drink.”

“It’s not even four, Jim.”

“So? It’s eleven at night somewhere. And it’s almost the weekend, you need to let go a little, Bones,” Jim says and begins to walk again, grabbing Leonard’s arm and literally drags him along.

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.”

*****

There’s one small issue with two grown men sharing a tiny room: the bathroom. And Jim got to live through that ‘issue’ first hand.

“Bones? Bones!” Jim bangs on the bathroom door.

“Can’t a guy take a shower in peace?” Leonard yells over the sound of the running water.

“Not when the other guy is about to explode!”

“Hold it in, Jim, you aren’t a child!”

“According to you I am!”

“Well now is the time to prove me wrong!”

“I’m serious Bones! My bladder is going to explode and I’m gonna die!”

“If it’s gonna shut you the hell up then so be it!”

“I’m coming in!” Jim announces.

“Jim don’t you even dare—!” Leonard’s sentence is cut when he hears the door swishing open and he hears Jim scrambling into the bathroom tugging his pants down.

“I’m gonna kill you.”

“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before,” Jim snickers.

“It’s gonna be the last damn thing you ever see.”

Leonard is out of the shower twenty minutes later, with a towel wrapped around his waist and his hair sticking up in all directions, courtesy of his finger combing.

“I thought you drowned or something,” Jim looks up from his position on the bed. He’s sprawled on his back with his PADD hanging over his face.

“Wouldn’t you have liked that,” Leonard mumbles, walking over to the closet to pick out a shirt and sweatpants. “You would have had the bathroom all to yourself.”

“Wouldn’t be the same without you in the shower,” Jim shakes his head.

“Uh huh,” Leonard proceeds to fumble through his clothes, his refined back muscles moving smoothly underneath his skin.

Jim’s eyes catches a water droplet that lingers at the end of Leonard’s hair and drops onto his back, rolling all the way down to disappear into the towel and Jim can’t tear his eyes away from the beautifully defined body. He notices a patch of freckles decorating Leonard’s back and he’s immediately overtaken by the sudden desire (or even maybe need) to trace them, connecting them into a constellation of stars. And then sailing those stars.

He’s very much aware he’s staring and doesn’t move until Leonard pulls a shirt over his head and the sight disappears. He clears his throat and breaks his gaze, going back to whatever it was he was surfing through on his PADD.

“I still don’t know why you willingly chose to live with me, kid,” Leonard speaks, breaking the tightness in the air. He was well aware of Jim’s hot stare and a part of him maybe even liked it. Jim watching him, that is. “More than that, I don’t know how I agreed to it.”

“You like having me around, Bones. Get it through your head, old man, I’ve been here for a week already.”

“And I already regret it,” Leonard sighs. Because there’s no way he’s admitting he does like having Jim around. He’s got a grumpy reputation to keep up, damn it. “So we gotta have some ground rules.”

“Does that go both ways?”

“No, they’re my rules and the only rules we’ll have.”

Jim groans.

“Don’t be so melodramatic. Okay so rule number one: use your own razor.”

“You still use an honest to God steel razor Bones, you’re in the dark ages. No worries there.”

“It’s the most accurate. Rule number two: no fucking or falling asleep in my bed. Don’t confuse our beds, you have your own damn one, use it.”

“I would never,” Jim fake gasps.

“Yeah, you would,” Leonard rolls his eyes. “Rule number three: pick up after yourself. You’re not five, so don’t act like it. And that leads to rule number four: stay out of my personal space.”

Jim sighs dramatically.

“Rule number five: don’t use my shampoo. I will poke your eyes out if you do. Rule number six: you stagger here after four in the morning, don’t bother coming in cause you won’t be able to open the door. Now this next one really gets to me. Rule number seven: you finish something, you replace it. You have credits, use them. Rule number eight: don’t mess with my PADDs. I will find out and you better sleep with both eyes open if you do.”

“Any more, your highness?”

“Yeah. Rule number nine: don’t break any of these rules. And finally, the most important one of all, rule number ten: don’t touch my bourbon.”

“Geez, what is this Bones, a prison camp?” Jim huffs.

“You asked for it, kid. You live with it,” Leonard retorts.

“Best decision I’ve made since I got here,” Jim chuckles.

And boy is Leonard in for a surprise. Or lets say…ten.

*****

Leonard isn’t really sure what to expect. Yet again living with Jim for almost three weeks now has taught him to expect anything and everything when it comes to the younger man. And all rules have been followed so far and Leonard allowed himself to breathe just a little bit. That maybe he managed to miss the disaster that is sometimes known as Jim Kirk. But he knew it was too good to be true when a frantic Jim rushes out of the bathroom and forcefully collides with Leonard’s chest. And…

“Why do you smell like my shampoo?” Leonard’s eyes go wide.

“Uh….I don’t?” Jim’s eyes instinctively move to cover his eyes.

“Damn it Jim!”

“Okay listen I just found out mine is finished like…this morning and I have a meeting with my advisor and I have to smell good,” Jim defends.

“What happened to rule number seven?”

Jim stares blankly at Leonard.

“You finish something, you replace it!”

“After the meeting is over for sure,” Jim promises.

Leonard is muttering about damn young cadets with half assed brains as he walks into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.

Jim managed to break three rules in one go: rule number five (don’t use Leonard’s shampoo), rule number seven (you finish something, you replace it) and rule number four (stay out of Leonard’s personal space).

And Leonard knows the rest of the rules will soon be going out the window.

*****

It’s never a good thing when your comm goes off in the middle of the night. Especially when you remember when exactly you fell asleep and realize it hasn’t been a full three hours since. Leonard groans, blindly fumbling for his beeping comm and flips it open.

“Yeah.”

“Len, we need you at the hospital,” M’Benga’s voice echoes off the device.

“Hospital?”

“Yeah, Boyce is out and we need someone for surgery.”

Leonard sighs. “I’ll be right in.”

He closes his comm and keeps his eyes shut for a few moments, grateful for the almost complete darkness surrounding him when he finally pries his eyelids open. The room is silent, the only source of light coming from the slightly cracked bathroom door. He learned from day one of Jim living with him that the kid couldn’t sleep in complete darkness. Leonard doesn’t know if Jim’s back to the dorm yet, since he’s still got two hours until his ‘curfew’.

Leonard gets an answer pretty quickly when he walks around his bed and trips, almost falling face-flat on the floor due to a discarded boot that was definitely not there when he went to bed.

“Goddamn it, Jim,” Leonard swears under his breath and there goes rule number three (pick up after yourself). “Lights: ten percent,” he orders and picks up the pair when the light comes on. He then turns to Jim’s bed and sees him sprawled on his stomach, still in his civvies and gathers Jim had literally fallen face first onto the bed, missing the pillow by a mile or two and immediately dozed off.

Leonard sighs, walking over to him and expertly begins to tug off his socks, pants and then after turning Jim over, he peels off his jacket and then finally pulls the weirdly not blood-covered shirt over his head, leaving Jim in only his boxer briefs. Not that he would mind.

Jim hasn’t budged, much like Leonard suspected. The doctor runs his eyes over Jim’s naked chest, stopping at a scar sitting on his abdomen. The jagged tissue is alarmingly clear against the rest of the skin, Jim’s body lean and glowing and perfect and then there’s that one piece that’s dark and rough and not Jim. Jim has more scars scattered over his body but none of them cause a non-existent lump to cut off Leonard’s breathing in his throat. He doesn’t know the story behind that scar, nor does he want to know it either.

He unconsciously extends his arm, his fingertips brushing over the uneven skin and lets his touch linger for a few moments, his mind switching from concerned friend to a knowledgeable doctor, trying to read it and understand how it happened. Easier than asking Jim about it for sure.

He get nowhere as Jim stirs under Leonard’s touch, causing him to withdraw his hand lose his train of thought. Leonard wiggles the covers from under Jim, covering him up and tentatively brushing away a strand of blond hair from his eyes.

Just as Leonard was about to move, a weak grip latches onto his wrist.

“’ones?” Jim slurs in his sleepy haze.

“Yeah kid, right here.”

“Wh’ you ‘wake?”

“Hospital commed, they need me for surgery.”

“Hospita’?”

“Yeah, looks like I’m finally climbing up the ladder,” Leonard chuckles. “Although I almost couldn’t enjoy it because your damn boot almost killed me,” it came out much softer than he had intended.

“’orry,” Jim gave him a sleepy smile and Leonard felt like he wanted to kiss it into a bigger one. But he doesn’t.

“It’s alright, kid. You get some sleep, I’ll see you when I’m back,” Leonard promises and after a moment of thought, he bends down and brushes a kiss to Jim’s forehead.

Jim hums happily at the contact and falls back asleep.

Leonard smiles, weaving his hand through Jim’s messy hair once before getting up.

He squints as he walks into the bathroom, the light intensity making his eyes water. He presses his palms to the edge of the sink, closing his eyes and balancing himself forwards. Satisfied his eyes won’t fall out of his skull, he opens them and goes to grab his razor only to realize it isn’t in the place he last left it. There goes the first rule (use your own razor).

Leonard looks around on the counter for Jim’s sonic razor but doesn’t spot it anywhere. He shakes his head and snatches his own and starts to clean up. He wants to be angry with Jim since he previously told him _you’re in the dark ages_ for using a classic razor but he can’t find it in himself. Instead, he decides, he’s going to tease the ever-living crap out of Jim for it.

*****

Leonard returns about seven hours later, his feet screaming at him and his eyes bloodshot till tomorrow. But he isn’t complaining because he finally got to perform his first surgery and he knocked it out of the park. He showed everyone what he’s capable of and his skills shone bright in their faces, leaving them quite speechless. Most of all, he couldn’t wait to tell Jim all about it. That and one other thing.

The door swishes open and Jim is in his usual position, lying on his back with a PADD shoved in his face. The kid’s eyesight will disappear in no time if he keeps this up.

“Bones!”

Instead of answering, Leonard simply unlocks his PADD and turns it towards Jim, an eyebrow quirking up.

A slight blush colors Jim’s cheeks and his lips tug up in a nervous smile. “You like it?”

“What did I say about rule number eight?”

“I know but I was bored and it was right there and I thought it would be nice to see my face when you open your PADD. You like my face,” Jim shrugs.

“I tolerate your face,” Leonard corrects. “And a heads up would have been nice. Your face scared me half to death. I’m expecting a peaceful landscape image and instead I get a crazed Jim Kirk.”

Jim chuckles, shaking his head. “You’ll get used to it.”

“I won’t have to.”

“Don’t change it, Bones.”

“Why the hell not? It’s my PADD,” Leonard defends.

“Because I can do much worse that that, much, much worse,” Jim warns.

Leonard sighs. “Fine, I’ll keep it just…don’t touch any of my PADDs again.”

“Deal.”

“And don’t think I don’t know that you used my razor. Guess you’re right back in the dark ages with me, huh?”

“My sonic razor broke and your razor can be used as a torture device, Bones. I regret even thinking about using yours. Spare yourself, would you? Anyway, how did it go? Did you totally rock that surgery?”

The PADD and razor issues go forgotten as Leonard sits next to Jim on his bed, and falls into telling Jim every detail of what he did. He even grabbed his PADD and began to draw the entire procedure to give Jim a visual.

“I held his heart in my hand, Jim! I felt it beating against my palm while the repair was being done!” Leonard says with sheer joy. “And God it felt incredible. For someone to have that kind of power in their hands, the ability to save someone’s life and give them another chance…it’s why I became a doctor. It’s why I wake up every day.”

A wide smile spreads across Jim’s face.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just…I just never saw you smile with teeth before.”

Jim’s stomach was overtaken with warmth and content as he heard Leonard talk about his job, sure he didn’t understand half of it but just how much Leonard was passionate and dedicated took his breath away. He couldn’t break his gaze from the doctor as he spoke, explaining and demonstrating and that’s when Jim finally realized this is what it feels like to fall in love with someone.

“Shut up, I smile plenty,” Leonard breaks their eye contact, suddenly feeling exposed but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Uh huh. Besides, you shouldn’t be this happy about the worst day of someone’s life, Bones, it’s indecent,” Jim playfully smacks Leonard’s arm.

“Ah, he’s fine,” Leonard waves his hand.

“I’m sure he is, he had you as his doctor. What did the hospital say about your superpower?”

“Boyce was blown away when he came back for his shift. And he offered me a position in their surgery department,” Leonard says proudly.

“That’s amazing, Bones! I always knew you could do it. Gonna miss giving flu shot?” Jim teases.

“Not a chance in hell,” Leonard rolls his eyes.

Jim reaches out his hand, patting Leonard’s a few times and then leaves it covering those perfectly defined, long legendary fingers. He could feel Leonard tensing up under his touch but Jim didn’t retreat his hand, he held his ground because God, he wanted this so much. He moved his head upwards to catch Leonard’s eyes and let all the walls he built around himself for all those years crash away.

Leonard was looking back at him with bewildered eyes, wide and uncertain. He felt the jolt of electricity that ran through them both at the contact, but he didn’t really know what to do with it. He wants it all but he can’t grasp it.

The tension heavy between them, they stare at each other for a minute or so, intense blue meeting quivering hazel, before Leonard is pulling his hand away and clearing his throat.

“I’ve uh, I’ve had a long day, I’m beat. I should probably take a nap,” Leonard says.

Jim nods, diverting his eyes to ground. “Yeah, you should get some rest,” he replies, hoping his voice doesn’t sound as unstable as it was to his ears.

“Wake me up in three hours?”

“Sure,” Jim nods again, not meeting Leonard’s eyes.

Leonard quickly changes into a soft shirt and sweatpants and slides under his covers. Jim doesn’t wait for him to fall asleep before he’s walking out of the room in a hurry.

Leonard sighs. “Great fucking job, McCoy,” he says to suddenly too-quiet room.

Leonard falls asleep thinking about the rules of all things, with no idea that he will be the one breaking all the remaining ones.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkwardness ensues, but when Leonard and Jim are finally able to push that aside, a deep conversation happens, secrets about both their pasts revealed. And maybe everything turns out okay.

The days to follow were quite…awkward, if you could say that. Leonard and Jim suddenly nervous around each other, anxious in their behavior and never in the room at the same time. Only when they were sleeping, and even then one of them would be wide-awake, did they breath the same air. And that is exactly what Jim had feared by pushing passed that tiny voice warning him in the back of his head when he decided to make his move anyway. It was stupid, really, in retrospect because Leonard had never expressed interest in any kind of relationship, let alone with another man. So why the hell would he reciprocate Jim’s feelings?

Jim was acting like a twelve-year-old girl with a crush. He was confused, because he did feel something from Leonard, something in the now-tense atmosphere that made him almost sure his feelings were in fact mutual. He was good at this kind of thing, sensing the other person’s needs and wants, and maybe that’s why he acted so carelessly. But yet again maybe Leonard broke him.

But the more Jim thinks about it, the more he’s convinced that no, Leonard only has platonic feelings towards him. All the other stuff, well Jim attributed it all to the simple fact Leonard is a doctor and being tender and caring is part of the job description. Jim hated doctors his entire life, and even managed to skip out on the major appointments in his life, so truth be told he had no idea where the standard doctor kindness began and ended so he wasn’t entirely sure about Leonard’s limits either.

Leonard had looked at him with a massive question mark carved in his eyes when Jim had taken the first step, almost like the doctor wasn’t aware of what was happening between them or didn’t feel the gravitating connection. It’s almost like Jim had imagined the whole thing, and that wasn’t even what hurt the most.

He missed Leonard, he missed his best friend, he missed being _them_ regardless of the title they were categorized under, and that is what stung Jim beyond words. The carefree and relaxed state they’d both be in, just speaking and watching as everything fell into place. Like a complex puzzle, and they were both vital pieces to the completion. He really missed that, missed feeling complete. And deep down, he was terrified they’d never be them again. And it’s all thanks to his reckless, self-centered screwed up behavior.

Jim couldn’t be any farther from the truth.

He punches in his code and steps into the dark room, what little hope he had of seeing Leonard vanishing when he spots no sign of the older man. Jim sighs, dragging his feet across the carpeted floor and begins to shed his cadet reds, letting the uniform dangle on the back of his desk chair. After changing into something more comfortable, he fumbles around in his and Leonard’s secret alcohol stash, Leonard’s bourbon catching his eye in the corner but Jim doesn’t touch it. Instead he goes for the Romulan Ale. He needs something strong for tonight anyway. What started off as a bad day had ended being a horrendous one, and Jim was just about ready to disappear.

Well into Jim’s third glass, Leonard makes his appearance, dropping the stack of books and PADDs on his desk before kicking his shoes off. Jim doesn’t look up, just keeps his back leaning against the end of his bed with his legs crisscrossed, twirling the glass absentminded in his hand.

Leonard eyes Jim for a bit before speaking up. Because yeah they’ve both been acting weird lately but this wasn’t weird Jim…something was wrong and Leonard would be damned if he’d just sit on the side, regardless of the fact things are…complicated.

“Jim?” Leonard says quietly. “Jim, you okay?”

Instead of speaking, Jim downs the remains of his drink, wincing as the strong liquor burns down his throat.

“What the hell are you drinking?”

“What’s left of the Ale,” Jim gestures to the almost empty bottle by his knee.

“Jesus Christ, Jim,” Leonard swears. “You drank more than half of it just today? Do you want to go blind?”

“Wouldn’t mind,” Jim shrugs and moves to pour himself another glass.

“Hell no,” Leonard quickly snatches the bottle and the glass, placing them on the counter, beyond Jim’s current reach.

Jim finally looks up, meeting Leonard’s wide gaze and Leonard can’t breathe. Jim’s eyes are bloodshot, shadowed with black that usually isn’t there and they’re hollow, empty, like everything that Jim is has evaporated and left a void vessel behind.

“I’m going out,” Jim decides, wobbly getting to his feet and goes to grab his leather jacket.

“Jim, wait—”

“No you don’t have to do this Bones. I get it, you can’t stand me, you can barely look at me, I messed this whole thing up, I know. I’m giving you the space you need,” Jim shrugs.

Leonard narrows his eyes. “What the hell are you talking about?”

Jim shakes his head. “Don’t do this, not today. I think I’ve had enough for one day,” he turns on his heels and makes for the door.

Leonard’s arm immediately shoots up, wrapping his hand around Jim’s wrist to stop him. “Stay, Jim…please.”

Reluctantly, Jim faces Leonard and it almost brings tears to his eyes. Leonard’s face, that’s usually hard and straight and unwavering is crumbling to the ground, his gaze filled with emotion, pleading Jim. Jim lets out a shaky sigh before allowing Leonard to guide him back to the floor.

Jim rarely saw Leonard like that. Usually calm and collected and focused, Leonard is everything that isn’t all that in this moment. Jim notices his shaky hands when he drops his bottle of bourbon and two glasses in front of them and freezes, for the first time as loss of what he’s supposed to do. He looks freaked out, and the ground shifts underneath Jim. There goes rule number ten.

Leonard pours them both identical fingers and looks sideways at Jim.

“Since you’ve already started without me,” Leonard mumbles and swallows his entire drink, closing his eyes at the welcomed fiery sensation.

Jim takes a small sip, his eyes never leaving Leonard’s face.

“What happened today?” Leonard asks.

Jim doesn’t reply.

“Come on kid, talk to me,” Leonard prompts. “This is us.”

“Doesn’t feel like there’s much of an us lately,” Jim whispers.

“I’m sorry,” Leonard sighs.

Jim shakes his head. “It’s stupid, it’s nothing.”

“If it’s got you sitting on the floor in this state, it isn’t stupid and it sure as hell ain’t nothing.”

“I just heard some cadets running this mouths,” Jim admits. “About me.”

“What were they saying?”

“That I don’t deserve to be here,” Jim turns to look at Leonard. “That the Academy just took pit on me.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Is it, though?” Jim scoffs. “Think about it, George Kirk sacrifices himself to save his entire ship and newborn son, George Kirk turned hero, but said hero’s son is a screw up. Mostly because his father died the day he was born. He had a tough childhood, poor kid barely survived. I sometimes feel the only reason I’m here is because of what happened to my dad. Jim Kirk is lost so why not bring him into Starfleet as a show and tell prop,” Jim rants. “Look how amazing we are, remember the hero George Kirk? Well here’s his son! We’re providing for him, helping him become a real person. It feels like a goddamn charity house. And the dark shadow never leaves.”

“Damn it Jim, stop it,” Leonard cuts him from saying any more. “You know that’s not true. Tell me you know that’s not true.”

Jim takes another sip from his glass.

“There’s more to you than just who you father is. You’re Jim Kirk, not George Kirk. You’re your own person.”

“At this rate, I don’t think there’s any chance for me to be anything else than what they want me to be. Or what they see I am right now.”

“Don’t take their crap. You’re here because you deserve to be here. You’re here because you’re a genius, and yeah, maybe that has something to do with your genetics but you’re here because of your own goddamn hard work. You’re on top of your class, Jim. And you do it so easily, it comes to you so naturally, this is what you’re meant to be doing.”

“Kind of ironic, huh?”

“Maybe. But if your dad were still alive, I think you’d still be here.”

“Minus the pity looks, of course.”

“They’re idiots, all of them. If they can’t see past that one detail about you and see who you really are then they’re idiots. And I’d like to smack all their faces in.”

Jim sighs.

“If it makes you feel any better, I think Pike recruited me because he was scared I’ll drink myself into an early grave if I didn’t go somewhere, be with someone. And I probably would have if I hadn’t met you on that shuttle,” Leonard says.

“He recruited you because you’re a fine doctor, Bones.”

Leonard shrugs, taking a gulp of his drink. “I wasn’t operating when he first laid eyes on me, kid. I think he has a way with people. He’s not stone cold like the rest of them captains and admirals. He’s an actual human being.”

“He’d be flattered to hear that,” Jim chuckles.

“Yeah, probably. You were right, you know.”

“I love being right,” Jim perks up. “But what was I right about?”

“When you said that it’s all a front, and appearance…back in the mess when you proposed this crazy idea.”

“Go on,” Jim encourages.

“I won’t go as far as saying it’s all a pretense because a part of me is grumpy and moody and maybe even broken but…when I’m around the right people, when I feel like it all adds up to a damn thing, maybe those things slip and something else happens,” Leonard explains.

“I would like to see those slip more often,” Jim agrees.

Leonard gives him a small smile.

“You say there’s more to me? And I’m saying there’s definitely more to you, too. And like, have you met me Bones? I have the baggage of all baggage, daddy issues and all.”

“It’s not the same,” Leonard shakes his head.

“No, it’s exactly the same.”

“No it’s not,” Leonard insists. “You…I don’t know how you do it but you’re still shiny and you survived, Jim. All that crap that happened to you all those years, you survived it. You’re so damn strong, kid and you smile brighter than the damn sun. But me?” Leonard scoffs. “I’m still drowning in that damned dark hole that nearly sucked out my soul and dried my heart. And I can’t break away. I hate how it makes me feel, I can’t stand what it does to me but I can’t bring myself to let go. Because if I let go I’ll be free and that means uncertain and unplanned and a part of me can’t do that. I have to feel like my feet are on solid ground.”

“Let go, Bones. And I promise I’ll catch you,” Jim whispers, carefully reaching for Leonard’s hand and feels the suffocating weight on his chest lift when Leonard doesn’t pull back.

Leonard actually returns the grip on Jim’s hand and runs his thumb over the bruised knuckles. When had they gotten bruised?

“Do you trust me?”

“I trust you,” Leonard nods. “It’s the world I don’t trust.”

“Screw the world, it’s what you make out of it.”

“It’s a little hard to think that way when your entire world gets pulls from under you and you lose your daughter, your family…” Leonard trails off. “How can I make shit out of anything when I’ve got nothing left?”

“You never told me you have a daughter,” Jim says carefully.

“I know, I never did because there was no point. I’m not even allowed visitation and last time I saw her was two weeks before the divorce. I don’t even know if she’s going to remember me when she grows up,” Leonard sniffs.

“She will, Bones, we’ll make sure of that,” Jim promises.

“The world is all kinds of fucked up. I was the good parent and I’m the one who got kicked to the curb. I’m the one who made sure our daughter was in a decent school and I’m the one who lost his rights. I’m the one who loved and cared for that little angel and I’m the one who lost her,” a tear streaks down Leonard’s scruffy cheek, one he doesn’t bother to wipe away.

Jim just holds Leonard’s hand tighter without saying a word because what could you possibly say to make that better.

“And that’s why I can’t let go, Jim. Because that would mean there’s another possibility of falling back into another black hole.”

Suddenly Jim understood. He didn’t know why he couldn’t see it before but now it’s clear as day. It’s not that Leonard doesn’t have feelings for him, it’s that those feelings scare Leonard. He made himself vulnerable before, and he paid the hard unforgiving price for it. The way the doctor sees it is falling for someone automatically equals doom, and it hurts Jim, it hurts him knowing that Leonard wasn’t loved properly, wasn’t loved like he should, didn’t get what he deserved. Jim vows to show Leonard how special and wonderful he really is, and that not every relationship is set to failure. And hell, if Jim can’t get Leonard out of that empty haunting hole, he’ll be right there inside it with him because he’s never letting this man go.

A small smile spreads on Jim’s face upon realizing that through healing Leonard, he will be healing himself, as well.

Jim pours them another round and it finally starts to feel like them again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A misunderstanding, crappy weather and more rules are broken after someone makes a necessary but stupid decision. But a promise of a brighter tomorrow doesn’t linger far.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter turned into two! And here we have it, folks! I hope you enjoy and feedback always makes my day!

Jim’s pacing back and forth in the small confided room, waiting for Leonard to return. He checks his watch every other minute and wonders what’s taking the doctor so long to walk from the main building to the dorms. His classes have been way over. And Jim’s gotta tell him something. Or rather, he’s gotta do something. It’s been on his mind for days now, since they had that rare heart to heart and began to fall back into being _Jim and Leonard_.

After a lifetime or two passes, the door slides open and Leonard steps in, his eyes immediately going to Jim’s moving form.

“Jesus, I can practically feel the damn energy bouncing off the walls, Jim. Everything okay?”

“Bones! What took you so long?”

“I dropped by the hospital for a bit, I sent you a message.”

Jim stops, taking a moment to think back. He either hasn’t read that message or he did read it but it got swept to the back of his head while he let off steam. Or collected steam. It doesn’t matter.

Leonard narrows his eyes at Jim.

“Anyway,” Jim says suddenly, closing in on Leonard and taking the familiar pile of books and PADDs from his hold, settling them on Leonard’s desk. He doesn’t step back from Leonard’s space as he runs his eyes over his face and spots some freckles dotted along Leonard’s nose and cheekbones. He hasn’t seen them before and they remind him of the pattern on Leonard’s back. And all Jim wants to do is tear off Leonard’s clothes and trace them with the tip of his finger.

“Jim?”

“Just…hear me out.”

Leonard sucks in a deep gush of air but remains silent.

“I’ve been thinking about that conversation we had. I guess we both kinda over shared, not exactly what we do since we’re both experts at shoving it down and keeping it locked up. My point is, I think there’s a reason all that was said between us, and I think there’s a reason the universe drew us together. But the truth is Bones, from the first moment I saw you, when you fell into that seat next to me on the shuttle, for the first time in my life I felt like maybe the world isn’t terrible, and maybe there’s some light left. I can’t explain it, but that was the first time I actually cared about my future. And I wondered if you’d be in it. And here you are, and here I am. I know we’re both broken and scarred but we fit, somehow, it makes sense.” By now, Jim’s heart is about ready to jump out of his chest. He swallows before continuing. “I look at you and I see so much good and honesty and passion and loyalty and it makes me believe, you make me believe, Bones. And I don’t hate waking up in the morning anymore because tomorrow is always a better day with you.”

Leonard’s eyes are swimming in tears by the time Jim falls silent, the bright blue emitting into the calm hazel. His tongue darts out to lick his suddenly dry lips and Jim follows the slow movement before his eyes are flickering back up to Leonard’s.

The air is tight between them, and Jim is steadily leaning in, his gaze unwavering and glued on Leonard’s face and when he deems it close enough, he dares to shut his eyes and press his lips gently to Leonard’s.

Jim feels Leonard’s body go stiff, he doesn’t move just keeps his lips in place, giving Leonard time to process what’s happening and adjust. Just when Jim thinks maybe he read this whole thing wrong and Leonard is going to pull back and yell at him, the doctor’s lips begin to experimentally move against Jim’s mouth, and Jim lets Leonard take the lead. Mainly because he doesn’t want to scare him away, but also because it’s a known fact Jim is more adventurous and risk taking than Leonard, so whatever Leonard would do, Jim would accept.

Despite the hot atmosphere and Jim practically feeling the heat leaving Leonard’s body, a shiver jolts through his body when Leonard parts his lips, prying Jim’s open as he goes and slides his tongue tenderly into the younger man’s mouth, eager to taste and explore.

Jim feels Leonard’s hand traveling up his chest and settling on each side of his neck as he kisses back with just as much excitement and want. He’s dizzy, seeing stars shimmering against the black of his closed shields and it’s over too quickly because Leonard is suddenly pressing against Jim’s shoulders, forcing him to take a step back.

Maybe it was too good to be true.

Jim’s face turns red and the burning pit in his stomach begins to expand.

“Jim, Jim, hold on a second,” Leonard says breathlessly.

Jim’s eyes go wide. “I…I don’t understand. You kissed back, Bones. Why…”

“What? Yeah, I know. I just—”

“I jumped the gun, didn’t I? I overwhelmed you and I didn’t even ask if this is what you want. I messed up,” Jim rambling, running a hand through his hair.

Leonard tries to grab Jim’s arms to get his attention but Jim’s already out of reach, grabbing his jacket and taking long steps towards the door.

“Jim, where are you going?”

Thunder rumbles outside.

“Jim, wait, it’s going to—” But Jim is already out of the room. “…rain.”

Leonard sighs, grabs a PADD from the top of the stack and falls onto his bed. He decides to await Jim’s return to say what he really wanted to tell him: about damn time, kid.

The endless rain outside keeps pouring and pouring, getting heavier and harsher and Leonard hasn’t heart from Jim in hours. He suspects the campus ground is nearly empty and tries to imagine just where Jim would disappear off. And it’s Leonard’s turn to pace the small room, his hands itching to reach for his communicator but he knows when Jim needs space he should give it to him. Still, it doesn’t help settle his hammering heart. He wishes he was fast enough to stop Jim from storming out to begin with, but truth is it had happened too quickly for his brain to comprehend. Suddenly they were kissing and it felt like everything Leonard was missing out on, felt exactly like Leonard had always imagined and maybe even better and then the next thing he knows Jim is out of the door in an instant.

He had finally lived up to his feelings about Jim and accepted them, not going around them or through them and it was a bigger step than he first thought. Of course it was breaking his personal don’t-ever-fall-for-anyone-else rule but this is Jim, Jim would never hurt him. When the divorce was finalized, Leonard ran. He ran as fast as his tired legs could carry him with no idea where he’s going, just leaving everything he had known and loved behind, not batting an eye in the rear view mirror. And he ends up with Jim of all people, everything Leonard isn’t. And it makes sense, Jim brings light and hope and wonder into his life, something Leonard hasn’t truly felt since Joanna was born.

Before Leonard could do any more damage with his overthinking, the door is opening and a drenched Jim is standing in the shadows. He doesn’t move from the doorway.

Leonard waits a beat before he speaks. “You gonna stand there all night? Your ass is gonna freeze to death, get in here.” He walks over to Jim’s partition in the closet and pulls out some dry clothes, tossing them into Jim’s arms.

“But—”

“Change, and then we’ll talk.”

Jim’s head drops and he walks into the bathroom. He emerges a few minutes later, his hair ruffled from drying it with a towel. But at least he isn’t shivering anymore.

“I told you it was gonna rain,” Leonard raises an eyebrow.

“I don’t understand…I thought you wouldn’t want to see me.”

“You jump to conclusions too fast, kid. And I didn’t actually get to say anything, you bolted on me,” Leonard reminds him.

“I’m sorry, I…I freaked when I thought…”

“You didn’t think, Jim and maybe that’s the issue. Because I know you, and you got scared so you assumed.”

Jim nods.

Leonard gets to his feet, approaches Jim and stands face to face. “What I was going to say is that I don’t play around and I don’t share. And you, well, you aren’t exactly the monogamous type.”

“Maybe it’s time I be.”

“If you mean that, Jim…”

“I do,” Jim replies quickly. “I’ve never meant anything more.”

“I don’t believe in destiny or any of that crap,” Leonard admits. “It’s us, it’s all us and it’s a choice we make. It isn’t made for us. Because what the hell would it all mean if it’s arranged from the dawn of time?”

“I chose you, Bones. I like the idea of being serious and not sharing. I guess I always thought I’d never meet someone who I’d want to be with for real, like all in. But I have met that person, and they’ve proven it’ll be worth it.”

“What a change of heart,” Leonard commends.

Jim shrugs. “I met someone who helped change my perspective.”

“Oh, really? They sound very impressive and stubborn to be able to change Jim Kirk’s view on things,” Leonard teases.

“They most definitely are,” Jim agrees.

“I’d like to meet them and thank them.”

“I think you’d like them as much as I do,” Jim closes the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Leonard’s neck. “Actually if you want to meet them, all you need to do is look in the mirror.”

“That’s incredibly cheesy, Jim.”

“As for the thank you, I think this will do,” Jim smiles and leans in, capturing Leonard’s lips and relaxes when he kisses back.

Leonard’s hands move up, one cradles the back of Jim’s head while the other cups his jaw.

Jim is braver now, more determined and assertive knowing Leonard is in this just as much as he is, that he wants this too. It makes his heart beat faster.

It quickly turns heated and needy, tongues mingling, teeth clinging and groans echoing with unknown origins. And then they’re parting for breath, with identical swollen lips and Jim smiles at the sight in front of him. Leonard looks so raw and beautiful, his hair mused up from Jim’s hand and his gaze grazing and infinite.

And Jim closes the distance once again, running his tongue seductively over Leonard’s bottom lip and the moan that’s heard undoubtedly came from the bottom of Leonard’s throat. Jim smiles, proud he’s bringing out such noises from the older man. And he can’t wait to see what other noises are hidden away, ready to be exposed like fireworks.

It’s almost like Leonard reads his mind, his fingers grabbing the bottom of Jim’s shirt and tugs it over his head, his soft hands caressing the newly exposed skin as his lips being to assault Jim’s neck. He sucks and licks at the golden skin and flicks a nipple with his thumb, making Jim hiss. He feels Leonard grinning against him and Jim’s hands are working to rid Leonard of his shirt as well.

“You’re so beautiful like this Bones,” Jim whispers when he’s straddling Leonard on the bed, both down to their boxer briefs. He traces the tip of his finger down Leonard’s bare chest, his eyes never leaving the hazel ones.

And suddenly Leonard is rolling them over, Jim pinned under him. “You’re the perfect one, darlin’,” he drawls in his deep southern voice that attacks Jim in all the right places before he’s devouring everything that is _Jim_.

And there goes rule number two (no fucking or falling asleep in Leonard’s bed). Although, it may not be really breaking the rule since Leonard never said anything about both of them going at it in his bed. And Jim gets to trace the freckles on Leonard’s back and travel among them. That leads Jim to some important knowledge: one of Leonard’ ticklish areas.

*****

Even though they’ve started dating, rule number six (you stagger here after four in the morning, don’t bother coming in cause you won’t be able to open the door) still stands. Through his blurry vision, Jim eyes the code console and then checks his comm for the time: nine minutes after four. He decides to try his luck and punches in his digits, only to watch the door do absolutely nothing. Well, he’s screwed.

Jim can feel the dry blood sticking to his skin, his knuckles starting to burn and the damn river of crimson that won’t stop running down his nose. He has to get inside before he passes out.

He bangs on the door, wincing at how loud but he hopes Leonard would forgive him seeing the situation. After a few other bangs and no indication that the man inside is any where near being awake, Jim flips his comm back open and pulls his last string.

“What?” Leonard’s gruffly voice comes on.

“Bones,” Jim croaks, barely able to stay standing.

“Damn it Jim it’s after four, stay wherever you are.”

“Do—or.”

Leonard sighs, cutting their conversation and staggers out of bed. “It’s simple Jim,” he’s saying before opening the door, “it’s after four you just—” he doesn’t have much of a chance to continue as he suddenly finds himself with an armful of a bloodied Jim. “What the hell happened to you?”

Jim hiccups against Leonard’s shoulder. “Damn stupid ignorant cadets,” he mumbles.

“We talked about bar fights, Jim,” Leonard says, wide awake now and half carrying half dragging Jim into their room. He lets him fall backwards on his own bed and reaches for the medical kid underneath his bed.

“I know, but I couldn’t just let them talk,” Jim manages to say.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean? People talk Jim, let them damn talk,” Leonard retorts, pulling out the usual instruments to use.

“Not this time,” Jim shakes his head, which is a very bad idea as it begins to buzz more.

“No sudden moves, Jim, you could have a concussion. Stay with me,” Leonard warns.

“Yeah.”

“Wanna tell me what was so important you went and got your head bashed in for?” Leonard asks, wiping away at Jim’s face with an antiseptic wet gaze. “This might sting.”

“You,” Jim simply answers.

“Me? I was right here, sleeping because of that damn autopsy exam I gotta perform in the morning.”

“Yeah no, I know. They were shit talking you, Bones. I wasn’t paying attention but then they mentioned ‘grumpy’ and ‘Georgia’ and well, it didn’t get much passed that. It was all punches and kicks,” Jim remembers.

“Why you gotta defend my honor like this, Jim? One of those days it’s gonna kill you,” Leonard huffs.

“Because it’s you Bones, and no one gets to talk about you the way they did. Couldn’t let that happen.”

“People will always talk shit, don’t let those assholes get to you. That’s all they’re about: talk. And honestly, I stopped giving a damn anymore.” After removing most of the dried blood clinging onto Jim’s face, Leonard presses down gently on Jim’s cheekbones and nose. “Nothing’s broken…this time. You said they kicked you? Take your shirt off, let me check your chest.”

Jim complies, groaning when he lifts his arms and Leonard is right there to help him.

“Easy, easy,” Leonard soothes, helping Jim maneuver his arms. “Yeah, they kicked you alright,” he sighs, surveying a large bruise already formed on Jim’s torso. He runs the tricorder to get an analysis of what’s happening inside. “You’re lucky tonight, Jim, no broken ribs either.”

“ _How_ lucky am I tonight?” Jim wiggles his eyebrows.

“No,” Leonard says stiffly. “No more ‘adventures’ for you tonight. Get up and take a quick shower, you reek of beer and blood.”

“What about my face?”

“What about it?”

“Aren’t you gonna fix it?”

“Nothin’ needs fixin’, Jim. You wear your small scars and bruises with pride,” Leonard rolls his eyes, returning everything into the kit he permanently ‘borrowed’ from the clinic.

Jim’s exhausted by the time he’s done showering, his body already starting to ache. He walks back into the room to see Leonard loading a cartilage into the hypospray.

“Oh Bones, how romantic,” Jim mumbles.

“Hey, your body is gonna hurt like a son of a bitch tomorrow, I’m just tryin’ to help,” Leonard defends.

“Hit me.”

“Get in bed.”

“Make up your mind, old man,” Jim raises his eyebrow suggestively.

“Get under the damn covers, Jim.”

Out of habit, Jim slides under the covers in Leonard’s bed. Sure, the beds weren’t really designed to handle two grown men (they weren’t designed to handle a single grown man either, if we’re being completely honest) but they make it work.

Jim feels the coldness against his neck and a soft hiss as the painkiller is discharged into his bloodstream. The bed is dipping with Leonard’s weight a few moments later, his strong arm going around Jim’s middle. Leonard presses a kiss to the back of Jim’s neck.

“Thank you, darlin’,” Leonard whispers. “Just please don’t go dying in my name. Won’t handle it.”

“I’ll always come back to you, Bones,” Jim smiles lazily, his eyes already dropping.

“Don’t fight it, go with it, I’m right here.”

Jim’s fast asleep before he can reply.

Leonard doesn’t immediately follow Jim but instead spends some time marveling at Jim, and he’s wondering what took him so damn long to get here. There’s no question the attraction between them was there from the moment they met, and there was more to it, a magical touch so rare Leonard thought it didn’t exist. But right in this moment, the feeling of being so free and grounded at the same time surging through his body makes him realize how right it feels. Leonard doesn’t believe in a higher power that dictates who falls in love with who, but rather he believes in choice. They chose to be together, they chose to give each other everything they’ve got. And the mere truth he belongs to Jim and Jim belongs to him makes up for all the darkness and hurt they both went through. And Leonard can’t imagine spending his life with anyone else but the man currently snoring lightly in his arms.

His last thought: screw the rules. Why have rules when you can have Jim Kirk and the promise of a brighter tomorrow?


End file.
